Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
