Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
