I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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