do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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