I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
