Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
