Define "chronic" masturbator.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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