Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
