Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize