I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i wish my penis had a tongue
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
