she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
