well you can't waste a boner
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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