Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
