Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
