If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
