Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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