More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
