Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
