Your mouth is God's brothel.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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