Me too!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
