Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
