so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just high enough for therapy.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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