If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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