so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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