I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
