so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize