There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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