just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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