i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize