I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize