Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
