Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
