garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
