3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
