Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
