Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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