Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Randomize
