Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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