i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
