apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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