I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
