i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he fucked my hip out of place.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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