Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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