You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
