Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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