I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
