The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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