If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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