WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
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