it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
