garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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