fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
