break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
