It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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