my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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