i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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