well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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