if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
