It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize