i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
