I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
