And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
