Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
