so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
MIDGETS
????
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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