Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
