He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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