Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
