I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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