Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
