Are you still at the party or did I leave?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
