Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
