I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
